What is a stroke?

In TA, a stroke is any act of recognition — verbal or nonverbal — given to another person. Strokes satisfy a basic human need for acknowledgement and can regulate self‑esteem, belonging and emotional states.

Types of strokes

• Positive vs Negative: Positive strokes convey warmth, approval, appreciation; negative strokes communicate criticism, rejection or disapproval but still provide recognition.
• Conditional vs Unconditional: Conditional strokes depend on behaviour or achievement (“Well done on that report”); unconditional strokes affirm the person (“I like you”) and support self‑worth independent of performance.
• Verbal vs Nonverbal: Words, compliments, and feedback vs gestures, eye contact, touch, smiles, or acts of service.
• Planned vs Spontaneous: Intentionally given praise or scheduled feedback versus spontaneous micro‑recognitions in daily interaction.

Stroke economy — patterns that shape relationships

Stroke economy refers to the rules and limits a person or group uses to give and receive strokes (e.g., “We don’t talk about feelings here”). Common patterns include:

• Minimal stroke economy: few recognitions exchanged; people feel unseen and disconnected.
• Negative stroke bias: more negative than positive acknowledgements — maintains attention but harms self‑esteem.
• Conditional-only economy: strokes only for achievement — undermines unconditional acceptance and fosters perfectionism.

Clinical applications

• Assessment: explore a client’s stroke history and household rules about recognition; identify deficits and maladaptive rules.
• Repairing attachment & self‑esteem: use unconditional positive strokes in early sessions to stabilise clients with neglect or chronic criticism.
• Boundary and assertiveness work: help clients request healthy strokes and decline harmful recognition patterns (e.g., compliments tied to sexualisation or conditional affection).
• Group therapy: structure activities that encourage balanced stroke exchange and practise giving/receiving feedback safely.

Practical exercises for therapy

1. Stroke diary: for one week, note all meaningful recognitions received and given — who gave them, whether they were positive/negative, conditional/unconditional, and how they felt.
2. Unconditional stroke practice: therapist models and schedules brief unconditional affirmations; client practises delivering non‑contingent positive strokes to a trusted other.
3. Role‑play switching: practise turning a negative stroke into a constructive positive one (e.g., critique → supportive, specific feedback).
4. Group circle: participants give brief positive strokes to each person in turn, building tolerance for receiving praise.

Cautions & cultural considerations

• Culture shapes stroke norms—some cultures value modesty and indirect recognition; adapt interventions to avoid imposing foreign norms.
• Be sensitive with touch or personal praise—ensure consent and consider attachment history to avoid retraumatisation.
• Negative strokes, while harmful if chronic, can sometimes be used therapeutically (e.g., clear limits); use carefully and ethically.

Tips for clinicians

• Map a client’s stroke economy early—ask about family rules, school messages and workplace norms.
• Model balanced recognition: be specific, genuine and proportionate when delivering strokes in sessions.
• Encourage self‑strokes: teach clients brief, believable self‑acknowledgements to build internal recognition sources.
• Use measurable goals: track increases in positive/unconditional strokes and changes in mood, social engagement and self‑criticism scores.

Key takeaways

• Strokes are the basic currency of human recognition—both positive and negative strokes matter.
• Healthy stroke economies combine unconditional and conditional, verbal and nonverbal recognitions to support well‑being.
• Therapists can assess stroke patterns, teach clients to request and give healthy strokes, and use structured exercises to rebalance dysfunctional recognition systems.