Core definitions

Circle of Concern: All the things you care about — health, economy, climate, other people’s choices, global events, reputation, uncertainties and more. These are valid concerns but many are outside your direct control.

Circle of Influence: The subset of concerns you can directly affect through your actions, decisions, and behaviour — your habits, immediate relationships, skills, responses, and small-scale projects.

Why the distinction matters

• Focusing on the Circle of Concern (only) often leads to worry, helplessness, and energy drain.
• Focusing on the Circle of Influence builds agency, competence, and momentum — small actions produce results and can expand your influence over time.
• The framework helps prioritise effort: do what moves the needle rather than ruminating about what you can’t change.

Practical examples

Case study — Expanding influence step-by-step

Scenario: Meera feels overwhelmed by school workload, family expectations and social media noise.

1. List concerns: exam results, parents’ expectations, global news, peers’ lifestyle (all in Circle of Concern).
2. Identify influence: study schedule, ask teacher for clarification, limit social media, communicate with parents (Circle of Influence).
3. Action plan: create a 2-hour focused study block, brief weekly check-ins with parents, switch off social notifications for study time.
4. Outcome: improved study focus, clearer communication reduces parental pressure, and Meera’s perceived influence increases — the Circle of Influence expanded slightly as she demonstrated competence and communication skills.

Practical exercises you can use today

1. Two-Circle Audit (10 minutes): Draw two concentric circles. In the outer (Concern) list everything worrying you this week. In the inner (Influence) list things you can act on. Pick one Influence item and take a single concrete step today.
2. Influence Ladder: For an Influence item, map 3 ascending actions from small → medium → bold. Start with the smallest and track results for 7 days.
3. Energy Check: At day’s end, mark which activities expanded your influence (gave results) and which drained you by staying stuck in concerns. Reduce or delegate the latter.
4. Boundary Practice: When a conversation goes into areas you can’t control, practice redirecting: “I hear your concern — here’s what I can do to help…” This models agency and reduces rumination.

Tips to deliberately expand your Circle of Influence

• Focus on competence: skills, habits and reliability increase others’ trust and your practical influence.
• Build relationships: small acts of help create reciprocal influence over time.
• Communicate clearly: articulate needs and offers; clarity creates opportunities to act.
• Start small and scale: consistent micro-actions compound and broaden your footprint.
• Manage attention: limit news/social media bingeing that inflates the Circle of Concern without adding agency.
• Leverage networks: influence often grows through collaborations — invite others to join practical projects.

Quick reference table

Common pitfalls & how to avoid them

• Pitfall: Confusing caring with control — trying to micromanage others. Fix: Focus on what you can change in your behaviour.
• Pitfall: Paralysis by analysis — excessive listing of concerns without action. Fix: Time-box the Two-Circle Audit and take one micro-step.
• Pitfall: False expansion — attempting large actions without capability. Fix: Use the Influence Ladder to scale actions realistically.

When to seek help

If concerns cause persistent anxiety, avoidance, sleep disturbance or functional impairment, seek support from a counsellor or mental health professional. Expanding influence is a useful practical framework, but it may need to be combined with therapy when distress is severe.

Key takeaways

• List worries (Concern) and actions (Influence) — act on the latter.
• Small, consistent actions expand influence over time.
• Managing attention and energy prevents wasted worry and increases effectiveness.
• Combine this framework with help when emotional distress is overwhelming.