What is NLP (here)?

In this article NLP refers to Neuro-Linguistic Programming — a model developed in the 1970s by Richard Bandler and John Grinder that describes how people take in, represent and communicate experience. Practitioners use its models and techniques to improve communication, coaching and therapeutic change.

The NLP Communication Model — a simple map

The model shows how an external event becomes behaviour through a sequence of internal steps. A common, concise version:

1. External event / stimulus (something happens outside).
2. Sensory input (we notice sights, sounds, smells, sensations — V/A/K/O/G: Visual, Auditory, Kinesthetic, Olfactory, Gustatory).
3. Filters — our beliefs, values, memories, culture and physiology that select and distort information.
4. Internal representation — the mental image, sound, feeling and language we create about the event.
5. State — the resulting emotional and physiological condition (calm, anxious, motivated).
6. Behaviour / response — what we say or do.
7. Outcome — results and feedback that loop back into filters and future processing.

Why the model is useful

• Helps explain why two people react differently to the same event.
• Provides practical leverage points — change filters, representations or state to change behaviour.
• Informs coaching and therapeutic techniques (e.g., anchoring, reframing, calibration).

Core NLP Techniques (short)

Practical Examples & Scripts

1) Building rapport with matching & mirroring

Use when: first minutes of a conversation to create comfort.

// Example (verbal & nonverbal)
Client: speaks slowly, low volume, leans forward.
You: lower your voice slightly, slow your pace, and lean forward subtly.
Say: "I hear you — take your time, tell me more about that." 

2) Anchoring a calm state

Use when: client reports a time they felt calm and resourceful.

1. Ask client to recall a strong calm memory (V/A/K details).
2. When the memory is vivid, press gently on the client’s knuckle (or use a word) as the anchor.
3. Release, then test later: ask them to recall stress and then trigger the anchor to evoke calm.

3) Reframing an obstacle

Use when: client says “I always fail at X.”

Script: “When you say ‘always fail’, I wonder what counts as a failure — and what have you learned from attempts that could help next time?” (Then offer a reframe: “Those attempts gave you practice and insight — they weren’t failure, they were feedback.”)

4) Swish pattern (quick habit change)

1. Ask client to vividly imagine the unwanted behaviour image (large, close, bright).
2. Ask them to create a contrasting preferred image (small, distant, dim) that represents desired outcome.
3. Rapidly ‘swish’ the images so the preferred image becomes large/bright and unwanted image shrinks — repeat several times.

5) Meta-Model questioning (clarify vagueness)

Client: “Nobody listens to me.”

You: “Who specifically? When did that happen? What exactly did they do that showed they weren’t listening?” — aim to get concrete examples and exceptions.

When to Use (and When to Be Cautious)

• Useful in coaching, brief therapy, interviewing and training to enhance communication and behavioural change.
• Be cautious: NLP techniques are tools — they do not replace evidence-based treatment for serious mental health conditions.
• Ethical use: always gain consent for techniques involving guided imagery, anchoring or intense emotional work.

Quick How-to Practice Session (10–15 min)

1. 5 min: Build rapport using matching/mirroring and open questions.
2. 5 min: Identify one small target behaviour or state to change.
3. 5 min: Apply a simple anchor or reframing exercise and test the effect.

Resources & Next Steps

• Read primary introductions by Bandler & Grinder for historical context.
• Practice simple anchoring and mirroring with a peer in low-risk settings.
• When using techniques with clients, document consent and monitor effects; seek supervision as needed.

FAQs