Internship in counselling – Three minds in DBT

What is DBT?

DBT, or Dialectical Behavior Therapy, is a therapeutic approach that combines elements of cognitive-behavioral therapy with mindfulness techniques. It was developed by psychologist Marsha M. Linehan to help individuals struggling with emotional regulation and interpersonal difficulties.

What is Reasonable Mind?

Reasonable mind refers to a state of mind where a person approaches situations logically and rationally. It involves thinking and analyzing information objectively, without being overly influenced by emotions or personal biases.

What is Emotional Mind?

Emotional mind refers to a state of mind where a person’s emotions are dominant in their decision-making and perception of reality. In this state, one’s thoughts and actions are heavily influenced by intense feelings, leading to impulsive or irrational behavior.

What is Wise Mind?

Wise mind is a state of mind that integrates both reasonable and emotional mind. It involves finding a balance between logic and emotions, allowing for wise decision-making and understanding. It is often associated with a sense of inner wisdom and intuition.

Ten Examples for Reasonable Mind:

1. Approaching a problem by gathering all the relevant information and analyzing it objectively.
2. Making decisions based on facts and evidence rather than personal biases.
3. Considering different perspectives before forming an opinion.
4. Using critical thinking skills to evaluate the pros and cons of a situation.
5. Setting realistic goals and creating a plan to achieve them.
6. Having a calm and composed demeanor during conflicts or disagreements.
7. Respecting and following rules and regulations.
8. Being open to feedback and willing to revise one’s beliefs or opinions.
9. Approaching challenges with a problem-solving mindset.
10. Recognizing and acknowledging personal limitations or biases.

Ten Examples for Emotional Mind:

1. Reacting impulsively without considering the consequences.
2. Making decisions based solely on intense emotions, such as anger or fear.
3. Feeling overwhelmed and unable to think clearly during stressful situations.
4. Being easily influenced by others’ opinions or expectations.
5. Engaging in self-destructive behaviors as a way to cope with emotional distress.
6. Experiencing difficulty in regulating emotions, leading to frequent mood swings.
7. Allowing emotions to dictate communication and relationships.
8. Becoming easily triggered or reactive to minor events or comments.
9. Engaging in black-and-white thinking, seeing things as either perfect or terrible.
10. Feeling overwhelmed by emotions to the point of being unable to function effectively.

Ten Examples for Wise Mind:

1. Listening to both logical reasoning and emotional intuition when making decisions.
2. Recognizing and validating one’s emotions while also considering the facts.
3. Using mindfulness techniques to stay present and aware of the current moment.
4. Seeking a compromise or finding a middle ground during conflicts.
5. Approaching relationships with empathy and understanding.
6. Being flexible and adaptable in response to changing circumstances.
7. Recognizing when it is necessary to take a break or step back from a situation.
8. Using effective communication skills to express thoughts and emotions.
9. Being self-aware and understanding one’s own strengths and limitations.
10. Recognizing that there can be multiple perspectives or solutions to a problem.
11. Types of Strokes in Transactional Analysis with 10 Examples Each

    Stroke Type	Definition
    Unconditional Positive Stroke	Affirms the person just for being who they are (not based on behavior).
    Conditional Positive Stroke	Affirms the person based on specific actions, behavior, or achievement.
    Unconditional Negative Stroke	Criticizes or devalues the person regardless of their behavior or performance.
    Conditional Negative Stroke	Criticism based on specific behavior or actions, not the whole person.

     

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    ✅ Unconditional Positive Strokes

    Affection or acceptance given freely, not tied to performance.

    Examples
    1. “I love you just the way you are.”
    2. “You are special to me.”
    3. “I’m glad you exist.”
    4. A spontaneous hug
    5. “You make life brighter.”
    6. “You’re a beautiful person inside and out.”
    7. “It’s a blessing to know you.”
    8. Holding hands quietly with affection
    9. “You don’t have to do anything to make me proud.”
    10. A warm smile for just being there

     

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    🟢 Conditional Positive Strokes

    Recognition based on specific deeds, achievements, or behavior.

    Examples
    1. “You did a great job on your project.”
    2. “I’m proud of how well you behaved today.”
    3. “You’re really good at drawing.”
    4. “Thanks for helping with the chores.”
    5. “You performed excellently in the test.”
    6. “I appreciate your honesty in that situation.”
    7. “You were so polite during the meeting.”
    8. “You handled that situation maturely.”
    9. “Your presentation was very clear and confident.”
    10. “You were very kind to your classmate.”

     

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    ❌ Unconditional Negative Strokes

    Hurtful or demeaning recognition not related to specific behavior – often attacks the person’s worth.

    Examples
    1. “You’re useless.”
    2. “Nobody likes you.”
    3. “You’ll never be good enough.”
    4. “You’re such a failure.”
    5. “You were born a mistake.”
    6. “There’s nothing good about you.”
    7. “You’re a bad person.”
    8. “You’ll never succeed in life.”
    9. “You’re the black sheep of this family.”
    10. “You always ruin everything.”

     

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    🔴 Conditional Negative Strokes

    Criticism directed at specific behavior or actions, not the whole person.

    Examples
    1. “I’m upset that you didn’t finish your homework.”
    2. “That comment you made was inappropriate.”
    3. “You were late to class again today.”
    4. “Your room is still messy.”
    5. “I didn’t like how you spoke to your teacher.”
    6. “This report is not up to the mark.”
    7. “You were rude to your friend today.”
    8. “I’m disappointed that you lied.”
    9. “You shouldn’t have interrupted the meeting.”
    10. “That behavior was unacceptable.”