Mastering the Art of Connection: A Guide to Rapport Building and People Orientation in Counseling
Rapport, Orientation & Questioning Skills
A practical, clinic-ready page for counsellors to reference during sessions and training.
SECOND DAY TRAINING ON INTERNATIONAL SUICIDE PREVENTION GATEKEEPER & BASICS OF COUNSELLING TRAINING
Types of Rapport
1) Emotional Rapport
Client starts sharing feelings and inner experiences; they feel emotionally held and understood.
2) Intellectual Rapport
Client is impressed by the counsellor’s clarity, reasoning, and collaborative problem-solving.
3) Kinesthetic Rapport
Client is physically at ease (e.g., comfortable with a handshake or brief touch to thank). Respect boundaries and culture.
10 Techniques to Create Rapport with Clients
- Warm welcome & name use: Greet genuinely, pronounce their name correctly, and show cultural respect.
- Open body language: Relaxed posture, gentle eye contact, nods, and soft facial expressions.
- Matching & mirroring (subtle): Align pace, tone, and posture without imitating.
- Reflective listening: Paraphrase and validate feelings (“It sounds like…”).
- Collaborative agenda: Ask what they hope to get from today and co-set priorities.
- Strengths spotting: Notice and name resilience, past coping, and values.
- Micro-affirmations: Minimal encouragers (“mm-hmm”, “I’m here”), therapeutic silence, and pacing.
- Clear boundaries & confidentiality: Briefly explain privacy, limits, and session flow.
- Gentle appropriate humour: Light, non-sarcastic moments can reduce tension—only if welcomed.
- Follow-through: Do what you say (notes, resources, next steps) to build trust over time.
Three Orientations in People
Action-Oriented
Doers. Prefer concrete steps and quick wins.
- Language: “Let’s try this today…”, “Next step is…”
- Tools: Behavioural activation, homework, checklists.
- Watch for: Impulsivity; balance speed with reflection.
Brain-Oriented
Thinkers. Generate options, analyse patterns.
- Language: “What are 3 possibilities…?”, “Let’s map the pros/cons.”
- Tools: Cognitive restructuring, thought records, decision matrices.
- Watch for: Overthinking; co-create small experiments.
People-Oriented
Connectors. Value relationships, networks, belonging.
- Language: “Who could support you…?”, “How might we ask for help?”
- Tools: Role plays, communication skills, support mapping.
- Watch for: People-pleasing; reinforce boundaries and self-care.
Questioning Skills in Suicide Counselling
Use direct, compassionate language. Normalize the conversation; asking about suicide does not “put the idea” in someone’s head.
Open-Ended Questions (Examples)
- “What has been going on that’s made life feel especially hard lately?”
- “When did you first notice thoughts about not wanting to live?”
- “What tends to make the pain spike, and what helps even a little?”
- “Who or what has kept you going during your hardest moments?”
- “If we could change one small thing this week, what would feel most helpful?”
Closed-Ended Questions (Examples)
- “In the past week, have you had thoughts about killing yourself?”
- “Do you have a specific plan right now?”
- “Do you have access to the means you’ve considered?”
- “Have you attempted suicide before?”
- “Can you agree to a safety plan to keep yourself safe for the next 24 hours?”
How to combine open and closed questions effectively
- Start open to understand context and emotions.
- Move to specific closed questions to assess risk (ideation, plan, means, intent, past attempts).
- Return to open questions to co-create safety and coping plans.
- Document clearly and consult/supervise for high-risk cases.
Basics in Counselling – Quick Checklist
Training & Resources
Emocare offers structured training in counselling, Psychotherapies, Life coaching and Healing. If you have MSc psychology, become an effective Psychologist. If you don’t have Psychology, Become an International Life coach
WE CONDUCT TRAINING IN OUR CHENNAI OFFICE ALSO – CONTACT EMOCARE
Clinic
Emocare International ( Counselling & Training center) – India's first chain of counselling centers
19/4, Shop Street, Ambattur, Chennai, Tamil Nadu – 600053
Phone: +91-7010702114
Email: emocare@emocare.co.in